And I’m not going backwards down that road either! Two years ago my life was turned upside down by someone who hurt me deeply. The scar on my heart is still there as a reminder of what I have survived and how strong I am to keep on going long after. I will not forget what this person has done to me, nor will I forget how those closest to him treated me. The thing is, I’m not turning back and going down this road again. There has and will be better things ahead then what I have left behind. I’m not the same person he left behind for a better person. Hell! I have grown way to strong to ever be in that situation ever again. I have walked down a different road, to a better life, people, adventures and the Lord himself. The person I have become while walking this road for two years is the person I always wanted to be, and the same before I met him. But his road was nothing but lies, cheating and mistreatment of those around him who could not do anything useful for him. A road I no longer walk and bridge I have burned multiple times to the grown.
The thing is…..
Two years later the anger has subsided, and I have moved on with my life. I do at times get angry when I think about what has happened, but I stop myself to say I’m ok, it hurt but I’m better than anger. I don’t need to have someone tell me he has moved on because to me he should move on. I don’t need to know he has found another he can’t seem to live without, because I don’t need to know at all. I don’t need to be reminded of him long after the relationship has been buried. A good friend has said repeatedly, “let dead dogs rest.” Truth is,being told out of the blue just makes me angry to have to be reminded of how it all went wrong. I just want to be left alone by those close to him, and left to live and love my life. I have moved on to better things, and better relationships.
I’m not turning back and going backwards down that road again. I have dealt with my baggage, and I have come to peace with myself over it. My heart finally about a year ago understood there is no turning back. Love is no longer down that road, and the bridge is no longer standing. Turning forward towards the horizon is all I need to heal my heart and soul. But wait! It has already happened. There is no turning back now.
I have learned one important thing from this….
Because the very essence of who I am flows from my heart. My heart is fragile, and someone can destroy it if you let them. So guarding my heart is to keep more scars from destroying it.
In the end….
If you are brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.